Child Exposed to Violence and Sex

Dear Dr. Bill:

I just learned that my 7-year-old son saw violent and sexually explicit cable movies at the home of one of his friends. Could this have negative long-term effects? Also, how can I prevent this from happening in the future?

— Susan

Dear Susan:

Thanks for writing. It's obvious from your e-mail that you love your son very much and this incident has you very concerned. First, let me give you some general information about media's impact on kids.

Researchers have found a link between repeated exposure to violent media messages and aggressive behavior in children and teenagers. A steady diet of violent television programs, movies, and video games may also cause kids to be meaner and more distrustful. Children who view pornographic images on cable or on the internet are given false and destructive messages about sex and relationships. These messages can interfere with healthy marital intimacy later in life.

If your son was exposed to this type of material only once, he probably won't suffer any negative long-term effects. However, it is important to talk to him about this experience. In a calm, non-judgmental way, ask him what he saw and how it made him feel. Using age-appropriate language, provide him with accurate information about the harmful effects of viewing violent and sexually explicit messages.

You should also be teaching your son about making responsible choices. Help him to understand that each decision he makes has consequences, and that there are times when he may need to say "no" when offered things that may not be good for him.

Here's something that every parent should do. Get to know the parents of your children's friends and learn what their values are. Find out what kinds of TV shows and videos they allow their kids to watch and how closely they monitor their use of the Internet. If you're concerned about their morals and values, don't allow your child to spend time at their home. Instead, invite those friends over to your house. In addition to protecting your child, you'll have a great opportunity to have a positive influence on those children!

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