Helping a Child Recover from a Scary Movie

Dear Dr. Bill:

I am a mom who is feeling very guilty at the moment. I allowed my 8-year-old son to watch a scary movie about 2 months ago. He had some friends over and became very upset that I was treating him like a baby because I wouldn't allow him to view a rental video they wanted to watch. I eventually gave in and now he is suffering big time. He will not go to sleep unless I am with him. He does not like to even be in a room alone at times. I need some advice on what I can do to help my poor, sleepless son. Can you HELP??!!

— Wendy

Dear Wendy:

It sounds like this so-called "kids movie" made a huge impact on your son, and now you're dealing with the fallout. Unfortunately, parents can no longer trust ratings or descriptions of movies or DVDs. We need to review the content ourselves first, or turn to Focus on the Family's Plugged In Web site for guidance.

Researchers have found a link between repeated exposure to violent media messages and aggressive behavior in children and teenagers. A steady diet of violent television programs, movies and video games may also cause kids to be meaner and more distrustful.

Since your son was obviously traumatized by what he saw in the video, don't dismiss his fears as silly or immature. He sounds like a child with a very sensitive spirit — someone who feels things very deeply. This can prove to be a great asset to him in life, but it also means that he'll be more affected by emotionally-charged situations and images.

Reassure him that what he saw was only make-believe, just like many of the stories in his children's books. Pray with him about the scary movie and his fears, and encourage him to pray on his own when he becomes frightened at night. Show him in the Bible where Jesus promises us that he will never leave us or forsake us. You can also practice some coping techniques with him, like deep breathing exercises or visualizing one of his favorite activities or memories.

It's not a good idea for you to sleep in his room at night or to let him sleep in your bed. That will only reinforce his fear, encouraging him to act helpless and dependant. Instead, find another way to make him feel secure, like turning on a nightlight for a while or letting him fall asleep to some soothing music.

By the way, this situation provides a great opportunity to talk to your son about making responsible choices. Help him to understand that each decision he makes has consequences, even down to the type of videos and TV shows he watches. Let him know that there are times when he may need to say "no" to certain activities, even when "everybody is doing it" and he feels pressure to go along with the crowd.

Copyright © 2007, Focus on the Family.
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.