Can a husband be successful with his career and family?

Dear Dr. Bill:

I recently heard you on the radio talking about how a father has to juggle his time between family and a job. Right when men are trying to start a business or establish a career, they usually have young children at home. Both are very demanding tasks — can you be successful at both? My husband is in this situation, trying to juggle all of his responsibilities — and I wonder if you have any advice or encouragement I can share with him?

— Rochelle

Dear Rochelle,

Just about every father struggles to find a balance between the demands of his job and the needs of his family.

As men, God has wired us to provide for our wives and children. That's a good thing, but because we live in fallen world and we are imperfect human beings, sometimes that natural desire can get distorted. One result is that a man attempts to define his worth by what he does for a living, rather than through his relationship with God. Far too many dads in our society are workaholics who are disconnected from their wives and children.

You can play a key role in providing your husband, with the love, support and encouragement he needs in his role as a husband, father and provider. At the same time, you need to be honest with him if you begin to see that his job is taking precedence over his family. Young children desperately need both quality AND quantity time with their dads. If your husband is working 60 hours a week or he's out of town on business trips the majority of the month, your kids will suffer.

Father's Day is a great time of year for every dad to take a hard look at his life and his priorities. If a man is an a job that demands so much of his time and energy that he doesn't have anything left for his family, it may be time to consider a different job or an entirely different line of work. That may involve a pay cut or even a geographical move, but if his job is negatively impacting the health of his marriage or the well-being of his children, it's time to make a change.

One organization that's working hard to help dads to be all that God wants them to be is the National Fatherhood Initiative, headed up by my friend Roland Warren. They have many excellent resources for dads, and even some for single moms. You can learn more at their website, which is fatherhood.org. Copyright © 2007, Focus on the Family.
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