Should We Pay Our Kids for Doing Household Chores?

Dear Dr. Bill:

My husband and I have three kids, ages 12, 10 and 8. We're wondering if it's appropriate to pay them for doing household chores.

Growing up, I was given a weekly allowance for cleaning and vacuuming and things like that. My husband says our kids should do the chores without payment because that's part of being a family.

But then we struggle with a lack of motivation and inconsistency in getting things done. The last thing I want is the scenario of someone saying: "How much are you going to give me for doing this?"

— April

Dear April:

There's no right or wrong answer here. Some parents believe in paying an allowance, others pay their kids for individual chores. Some parents don't pay anything, but give their kids money for purchases based on their overall helpfulness and attitude.

Whatever system we use, it's important to remember that one of our goals is to prepare our kids to live in the "real world," the world of work, taxes, tithing, investing, etc. In the real world, nobody is going to pay us for making our bed or taking out the trash. On the other hand, we will get paid for things like managing a group of employees, tuning up somebody's car, or selling a pair of shoes to a very demanding customer.

So here's what I suggest. Our kids should perform certain chores around the house simply because they are part of the family. This would include things like taking care of their own room and toys, helping prepare meals, and yes, even taking out the trash.

On the other hand, I think it's fine to pay our kids for chores that demand more time and energy and go "above and beyond the call of duty." These could include things like mowing the lawn, washing the car, or in the case of a responsible teenager, babysitting their younger brother and sister for an entire Saturday afternoon. Whether it's a regular responsibility or a chore that earns a paycheck, it's important to clearly communicate what we expect, including the time frame in which the job needs to be completed and what kind of quality we expect.

For younger kids, it can be helpful to write down the steps of a particular chore on an index card, including a realistic deadline for finishing the job and how much they will earn if the job is done to mom or dad's satisfaction. For teens, parents can use a more adult-oriented contract, and they might choose to work for certain privileges instead than money.

Helping your kids learn to tithe, give, save and spend their money is just as important as how they earn it. A great resource on this topic is the book Your Kids Can Master Their Money by Ron and Judy Blue and Jeremy White.

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