Letting Kids Attend Sleepovers
Should we let our young daughters attend a sleepover at their friend's house?
Dear Dr. Bill:
My wife and I have two daughters, ages 7 and 9. We've found sleepovers to be one of the best ways for them to develop some great friendships with girls who come from Christian families with values similar to our own. And when we've had everyone at our house, it's been a great way for us to get to know these friends better. But what do you think about sleepovers at a friend's house where there's an older teen brother living there? Should that be an absolute "no?" Or do you have any guidelines on how we should deal with that situation?
— Eric
Dear Eric:
It's great that you and you wife have a group of Christian friends who share your values, and that your kids have developed friendships with their kids. When I talk to parent groups around the country, I tell them I believe that's one of the best ways to protect your kids from some of the toxic influences in today's culture. Because these parents have the same Christian beliefs you do, it's likely they share your values regarding entertainment, internet use, drug and alcohol use and sexual purity.
That being said, there are always risks when your child stays overnight at someone else's home.
Normally I discourage sleepovers for this very reason — especially if you don't know the other child's parents very, very well, and if you haven't had a frank discussion with them about morals and values.
In your case, have you known this family for a long time? Do they share your values? Do you know and trust their son? Are you confident there will be a high level of supervision during the sleepover? If so, you may choose to let your daughter attend. But if you can't answer a definite "yes" to all of these questions, I would strongly advise against it.
Another option would be to volunteer to be a chaperone at the sleepover. That way, you can completely supervise your own daughter and have the peace of mind that she's in a safe environment. But don't plan on getting much sleep!
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