Finding Support in Raising an Autistic Child

Dear Dr. Bill:

Our 3-year-old son was recently diagnosed with autism. He also has permanent hearing loss and wears hearing aids. My husband and I no longer attend church on a regular basis because of our son's moods and tantrums. The pastor was concerned about our situation, but there are no programs or services that can help us because the church is so small. Certain teachers in the children's ministry have been helpful, but it's never consistent, and I wonder what we'll do as our son gets older.

My husband and I often feel isolated and helpless since no one in the Christian community seems to understand what we're going through on a daily basis. Do you have any suggestions for how our family can find the support we need?

— Nicole

Dear Nicole:

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Here at Focus on the Family, we often hear from parents with special needs kids who have similar stories.

The fact is that many churches aren't equipped to offer practical help to families with special needs children. From your description, it sounds like your pastor really cares, but the church simply doesn't have the staff or the resources to effectively serve your son.

I'd suggest you ask your son's pediatrician and therapist if they might know of a larger church in your area that has a special ministry to families like yours. This might involve a bit of a drive every Sunday, but it's likely the support and encouragement you receive will be well worth the extra effort.

Joni Erickson Tada's organization, Joni and Friends, has a referral service that connects families with special needs kids with local churches that have such programs. You can learn more at their Web site, Joni and Friends.org.

Let me also recommend two books that you may find helpful. The first is called Facing Autism: Giving Parents Reasons for Hope and Guidance for Help by Lynn Hamilton. The second is titled A Special Kind of Love: For Those Who Love Children With Special Needs. The authors are Susan Osborne and Janet Mitchell. Both books are available from us here at Focus on the Family. Learn more by calling us at 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459).

Finally, our counseling department here at Focus on the Family is always available to you. You and your husband may find it helpful to talk to one of our caring Christian counselors about your situation. Our counseling team can also refer you to a Christian therapist in your community who has experience in helping families such as yours. You can reach our counseling department Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. (Mountain Time) at 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459).

Copyright © 2008, Focus on the Family.
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.