Teen Dance Party

Dear Dr. Bill:

My daughter wants to have a dance for her "sweet sixteen party." But my husband and I aren't sure if dancing is appropriate for Christians. And, we wonder if some teens will act inappropriately. What do you think?

— Maggie

Dear Maggie:

Christians have very different perspectives on dancing. Some believe that dancing is a sin, while others believe that the Bible celebrates dancing (at least in the case of worship). I don't know what your particular denomination teaches about dancing, so I'd suggest you discuss that particular aspect of the issue with your pastor.

My own perspective is that there is no biblical prohibition against dancing in and of itself. The problem is that in today's teen culture, social dancing has become very sexually provocative. Many high schools have even banned certain forms of dancing, such as "grinding."

I'd suggest that you discuss the dancing aspects of the sweet sixteen party with your daughter. Tell her that if you agree to allow dancing, she will need to agree to specific ground rules about the type of music that the kids will listen to and the type of dancing they will engage in.

For example, make it clear that you won't allow any songs with sexually suggestive lyrics. Also, she'll need to clearly communicate to each of the guests that sexually provocative forms of dancing will not be appropriate.

One way to avoid any problems at the party and have fun at the same time would be to feature some type of musical "theme" such as a 1940s swing dance or a country square dance. The kids could dress in the appropriate style and you could hire a professional dance instructor to teach them the dance steps.

I knew some college students who put on a 1940s dance styled after the USO parties that were common during World War II. The guys dressed up in period military uniforms and the girls wore 1940s-style party dresses. They even raised money at the dance to contribute to a veteran's organization.

You daughter might resist this type of "theme" dance at first, but my guess is the kids would end up having a great time and would remember the party for years to come.

Regardless of what you agree to do at the party, your daughter needs to understand that since you're footing the bill, you have the final say on what's appropriate and what's not.

Copyright © 2008, Focus on the Family.
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.