Child With an Anxiety Disorder
A concerned mom writes about trichotillomania, an anxiety disorder that causes people to pull their hair out.
Dear Dr. Bill:
Our 9-year-old daughter suffered through a couple weeks of "silent treatment" from her closest friend but never told us there was a problem. When she started pulling the hair out of a spot on her head, I realized her anxiety.
The friend problem was solved with a simple apology, but in discussions with my daughter, she opened up about many "what if" worries — things like my husband and I dying, major disasters and so on. As a result, we immediately made some changes at home — limiting her access to TV news and arranging evening snuggles with me to talk and pray about life. We even gave her a little fuzzy eraser to keep her fingers busy when she feels anxious at school.
But the problem showed up again last week after a sleepover where my daughter began feeling homesick. I know that I suffer from anxiety and have been working toward better coping strategies for myself. But what do you suggest we do to help our daughter?
— Kim
Dear Kim:
I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's struggles. The fact is, we live in a fallen world, and the Fall permeates all aspects of God's creation — even our physical functioning. Some of us are simply wired to be more susceptible to depression or anxiety. And as you mentioned, psychological issues like those are often inherited.
Most anxiety disorders, including trichotillomania, can be effectively treated by a form of counseling known as cognitive-behavioral therapy. The therapy involves teaching an individual to identify dysfunctional thoughts that contribute to anxiety or depression, to challenge those thoughts and to replace them with more accurate, realistic thoughts. This in turn can lead to the elimination of harmful behaviors and negative emotions. From a theological perspective, this method fits well with the biblical concept of "renewing our minds" and "putting on the mind of Christ."
Our counseling department here at Focus on the Family would be happy to talk to you and refer you to a licensed Christian counselor in your local community. You can reach our counseling department Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. (Mountain Time) at 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459).
Also, you may want to order the book Helping Your Kids Deal with Anger, Fear and Sadness by Dr. Norm Wright. It's available from Focus, and you can order it by calling us at 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459).
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