Teen Addiction to Text Messaging

Dear Dr. Bill:

My husband and I are very concerned about our 16-year-old daughter's cell phone texting obsession. In the past two weeks alone, she has sent or received 3,000 text messages! So far all this texting hasn't affected her school grades, but I worry that the next generation won't know how to communicate face-to-face anymore! What do you think?

— Sheila

Dear Sheila:

I think you have good reason to be concerned. When it comes to teens and technology, the key is balance. Far too many teens have become obsessed with texting, instant messaging and social networking sites. Also, as you mentioned, some kids spend so much time communicating online or via cell phone that they fail to learn how to have real, authentic human relationships.

Because of these risks, it's critical for parents to provide reasonable guidelines and limits for their teens when it comes to the use of technology. I'd encourage you to you sit down with your daughter and let her know that you are concerned about the amount of time she spends texting. Tell her that for some kids, technology can begin to control their lives and become an obsession, and you don't want that to happen to her.

Explain that you feel it's important for her to strike more of balance in her life, spending less time texting and more time pursuing other activities, such as hobbies, exercise, church activities and time spent in real, face-to-face relationships with her friends.

Let her know that because you love her and want the best for her, you are going to limit her texting time to one hour per day. She won't like this restriction one bit, but tell her that she is welcome to invite her texting friends over to your house more often — just to hang out and enjoy each other's company. (Tell her you'll provide the snacks!) You might even offer to spend more time driving her and her friends to the mall, the park or wherever they'd like to go to have fun together. That way, they can focus on developing deeper friendships, rather than simply texting each other.

Of course you'll need to follow up and monitor her texting time to make sure she complies with the new guidelines. If she doesn't, let her know that you will need to restrict her cell-phone privileges.

Teen expert Vicki Courtney has written an excellent book that provides parents with some great advice on teens and technology. It's called Logged On and Tuned Out: A Non-Techies Guide to Parenting a Tech-Savvy Generation. You can learn more about the book when you contact us at 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459).

Copyright © 2008, Focus on the Family.
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.