My Son-in-Law is Viewing Child Pornography
How can I help my daughter and protect my granddaughter?
Dear Dr. Bill:
My daughter just discovered that her husband, who is not a Christian, is viewing pornography that involves preteen children. Worse yet, she has a preteen daughter from a previous marriage who stays with them from time to time.
My husband and I are strong believers and our daughter is now trying to live a godly life, so we are asking for your advice on how to confront this problem. My daughter doesn't want to divorce her husband, but at the same time, we all want to protect our grandchild. What do you suggest we do?
— Debbie
Dear Debbie:
This is a serious issue that needs to be confronted immediately. Your daughter may not realize it, but by possessing child pornography, her husband is committing a federal crime. The possession of child porn is also considered a felony in most states. In addition to this, this sort of pornography victimizes innocent children in a horrible way, and by viewing it, your son-in-law is participating in that victimization.
You are also right to be concerned about the safety of your granddaughter. If your son-in-law is addicted to child porn, it's certainly conceivable that he could cross the line and engage in sexually abusing a minor — perhaps your granddaughter. The vast majority of pedophiles who are arrested and convicted are found to have child pornography in their possession. As a safety measure, your daughter should never allow her husband to be alone with your granddaughter when she visits.
Since your daughter is a Christian, the first thing she should do is consult with her pastor about this issue. She needs all the support she can get right now, and her church can play a significant role in helping her confront this issue. I'd also suggest that she find a Christian therapist who has expertise in dealing with pornography addiction. Our counseling department here at Focus on the Family can refer her to a therapist in her area. You can reach our counseling department Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. (Mountain Time) at 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459).
Also, I'd strongly suggest that you, your husband and your daughter read Dr. James Dobson's book Love Must Be Tough. It offers practical advice and guidance on how to deal with addictive behaviors, and will walk your daughter through the difficult steps she must take to help her husband and herself.
Copyright © 2009, Focus on the Family.
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.