Couple Living Together Seeks Financial Advice
My live-in boyfriend and I argue a lot about money. Can you help us resolve our conflict?
Dear Dr. Bill:
I am looking for some Christian-based financial advice for couples who are living together. In our situation, my boyfriend and I disagree on how to manage our finances — the mortgage, car payments, insurance, groceries and more. He wants to pool our two incomes and pay for everything 50-50. But my take-home pay is almost $100 more per week than his, and I don't think this is fair. We've been arguing a lot about this issue. What do you recommend we do?
— Debbie
Dear Debbie:
Unfortunately there isn't any "Christian-based advice" available for couples who are living together. I realize that you and your boyfriend may be new to the faith, but if you profess to be Christians you should know that you are violating God's standards for sexuality. Your financial conflicts are merely a symptom of this situation.
Unfortunately many Christian teenagers and young adults today fail to understand that God's Word refers to sexual activity outside of marriage as "fornication," which is a sin. The Bible says, "It is God's will that you should be sanctified, that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God" (1st Thessalonians :3-5).
Debbie, living with your boyfriend not only grieves God, it also negatively impacts your Christian witness to those around you. My suggestion would be for you and your boyfriend to meet with your pastor or a Christian counselor in order to learn about God's wonderful design for sexuality within marriage.
Once you begin to understand His will for your life and commit to living by his standards, the other aspects of your relationship will begin to make sense — including the financial issues you mentioned.
By the way, let me recommend an excellent book that will help you to understand more about God's view of sexuality and marriage. It's called Before You Live Together by Dave Gudgel. You can learn more about the book by calling us at 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459).
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