Young Boys and Violent Toys

Dear Dr. Bill:

My husband and I have three boys who are interested in some new toys that seem to glorify battles and fighting. Since they already do enough of that with each other without prompting, we're not sure we want to encourage more of this behavior! But these toys are very popular at their school, and we don't know how keep our kids away from the toys without making them feel left out of this newest fad. What do you suggest we do?

— Jill

Dear Jill:

I have to admit that I chuckled a bit when I read your e-mail — especially the part about your boys fighting enough already without any prompting.

If you had asked me this question 10 years ago, I would have probably told you that I don't see any harm in games that involve battles or fighting. Boys are simply wired to be more aggressive and competitive, and tend to be drawn to more action-oriented games — especially those that involve combat — whether that involves medieval knights, battleships and submarines, or tanks and jet fighters.

However, the advent of very realistic video games — especially war games — has taken on a whole new twist — one that is often dark and ugly. Many games feature graphic violence and gruesome images of death and dismemberment.

My perspective is that toy miniatures and board games that involve wars and combat won't harm kids or encourage them to be violent. Some video games that depict combat are fine too, but many aren't.

That's why parents should carefully evaluate the themes and images in any video game before they buy or rent them. A great place to find reviews of games from a family-friendly perspective is Focus on the Family's youth culture Web site, www.PluggedInOnline.com.

By the way, regardless of whether play involves miniatures, board games or video games, the other important aspect to consider is what kind of moral themes are found in the game. In other words, does the content simply feature a basic "good guys vs. bad guys" conflict, or does the game feature gratuitous violence or encourage things like cruelty or deception?

Our kids — especially when they're young — depend on us to provide them with moral guidance, and that extends to all areas of their life, including their play.

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