Mike Singletary's Three Keys to Family Health

There are three areas of life that have helped add health to my family:

1. Prayer. There was a time when I thought that I could create a healthy home by organizing my time, arranging family events, planning vacations and setting up one-on-one time with my wife and kids. Some of these disciplines are good, but I had a tendency to put my family on a schedule — my schedule. My schedule still shapes much of what we do, but now I pray for wisdom as to how I can serve my family and best take advantage of my available time. I pray to know what to do and for the courage to do it when it needs to be done. Moving to the leading of God's Spirit is proving to be more effective than any schedule ever could. Also, I make sure that we pray together as a family.
2. Communication. Kim and I sit down weekly to plan out the days. We both want to understand the schedule. We determine when we will go out on a date, who will pick up the kids, etc., and we resolve the occasional problem when Kim can't be in two places at once. Every day during the week, we stay in close communication, using our cell phones. Constant contact is crucial. It keeps me involved and keeps Kim from becoming resentful.
3. Sacrifice. As a husband, parent and coach, I must ask myself, What am I going to give up? I must be honest with my schedule, and I must identify ways to best use my time. For example, coaches tend to waste time chatting and talking with friends on the phone between meetings and practices. I choose not to do that so I can finish my work and then leave to be with my family. I constantly ask myself, Where can I cut back without hurting my coaching performance? How can I create more time with my family? How can I be more efficient to be more effective? Shooting the breeze on the phone, lunch with the guys and hanging around for a few laughs can be fun, but it would steal me from my family. I have to ask, What am I going to give up?

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Excerpted from Mike Singletary: One-on-One. Copyright © 2005 by Mike Singletary and Jay Carty. Published by Gospel Light/Regal, Ventura, CA, 93003. Used with permission. All rights reserved.

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