The Hardest Thing
In this excerpt from his book Total Forgiveness, R.T. Kendall describes a pivotal experience in his life.
"R.T., you must totally forgive them. Until you totally forgive them you will be in chains. Release them, and you will be released."
Astonishingly, before the reprimand from my friend, my unforgiving spirit had not bothered me all that much. If you had reminded me of Jesus' words that we should "love one another" (John 13:35) or of that petition in the Lord's Prayer, "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" (Matt. 6:12), I would have replied, "Of course I know about that." I assumed that since nobody is perfect and we all sin in some measure every day, the bitterness in my heart was no worse than any other person's transgression. Moreover, I thought, God fully understood and sympathized with my particular circumstances. In other words, I rationalized my attitude and behavior.
But mercifully, the Holy Spirit spoke to me that day through Josif's words. At first I was angry; I felt hemmed in. But it was a pivotal moment for me, and it changed my life. I was never the same again.
To be honest, I had only told Josif of my problem because I thought I would get sympathy from a man I deeply respected and who I thought would be on my side. I expected him to put his arm on my shoulder and say, "R.T., you are right to feel so angry! Tell me all about it. Get it out of your system."
But no! He compassionately but soberly rebuked me and would not let me off the hook.
Those words came to me during the greatest trial I had ever had until that time. I couldn't discuss it with my friends or family members, but because Josif was from Romania and was far removed from the situation, I was able to tell him everything.
"Is that all?" he asked when I finished my story.
"Yes, that's it," I said.
And then came those remarkable words — spoken in his Romanian accent: "You must totally forgive them."
"I can't," I replied.
"You can, and you must," he insisted.
Unsatisfied with his response, I tried to continue. "I just remembered. There is more. What I didn't tell you…"
"R.T.," he interrupted, "you must totally forgive them. Release them, and you will be set free."
It was the hardest thing I had ever been asked to do. What I write about in this book is far easier said than done. I repeat, it was the hardest thing I had ever been asked to do, but it was also the greatest thing I had ever been asked to do."
An unexpected blessing emerged as I began to forgive: A peace came into my heart that I hadn't felt in years. It was wonderful. I had forgotten what it was like.
Astonishingly, before the reprimand from my friend, my unforgiving spirit had not bothered me all that much. If you had reminded me of Jesus' words that we should "love one another" (John 13:35) or of that petition in the Lord's Prayer, "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" (Matt. 6:12), I would have replied, "Of course I know about that." I assumed that since nobody is perfect and we all sin in some measure every day, the bitterness in my heart was no worse than any other person's transgression. Moreover, I thought, God fully understood and sympathized with my particular circumstances. In other words, I rationalized my attitude and behavior.
But mercifully, the Holy Spirit spoke to me that day through Josif's words. At first I was angry; I felt hemmed in. But it was a pivotal moment for me, and it changed my life. I was never the same again.
To be honest, I had only told Josif of my problem because I thought I would get sympathy from a man I deeply respected and who I thought would be on my side. I expected him to put his arm on my shoulder and say, "R.T., you are right to feel so angry! Tell me all about it. Get it out of your system."
But no! He compassionately but soberly rebuked me and would not let me off the hook.
Those words came to me during the greatest trial I had ever had until that time. I couldn't discuss it with my friends or family members, but because Josif was from Romania and was far removed from the situation, I was able to tell him everything.
"Is that all?" he asked when I finished my story.
"Yes, that's it," I said.
And then came those remarkable words — spoken in his Romanian accent: "You must totally forgive them."
"I can't," I replied.
"You can, and you must," he insisted.
Unsatisfied with his response, I tried to continue. "I just remembered. There is more. What I didn't tell you…"
"R.T.," he interrupted, "you must totally forgive them. Release them, and you will be set free."
It was the hardest thing I had ever been asked to do. What I write about in this book is far easier said than done. I repeat, it was the hardest thing I had ever been asked to do, but it was also the greatest thing I had ever been asked to do."
An unexpected blessing emerged as I began to forgive: A peace came into my heart that I hadn't felt in years. It was wonderful. I had forgotten what it was like.
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Excerpted from Total Forgiveness. Copyright © 2002 by R.T. Kendall. Used by permission of Charisma House Publishers. All rights reserved. Excerpt may not be reproduced without the prior consent of Charisma House Publishers.
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